Do your goals seem unattainable?

What drives you to get out the bed everyday? What makes your soul smile? Have you lost that smile? What I mean is…what motivates you? How do you motivate yourself after your soul stops smiling?

Life is tough. Nothing is supposed to be easy, but you can certainly make decisions that can make life easier for yourself or not. It is totally up to you. When you encounter difficulty, how do you respond? Do you wonder to yourself why is this happening to me? Do you wonder why it didn’t happen to someone you think is less deserving of favor in life? Do you say, “Why didn’t this happen to him/her, she/he’s a horrible person anyway?” or do you approach difficulty with the mindset of okay, this happened, now what?

One way to tackle a lack of motivation is to first understand there will be times in life when things are gong to go wrong and when that time comes, it will be up to you to motivate yourself to keep going and not wallow in pain, frustration, anger, or any other emotion that can take you further away from your goals.

The second thing you should consider is when you are down, what brings you back up? Is it your family, working out, listening to music that makes you feel good, or maybe its touching bases with a really good friend. Whatever that is for you, use it. Spend quality time with your family and unplug from everything else. Put your running shoes on and get on that trail in the middle of nature or hit up your favorite gym. Pop in your favorite CD (if you still use those, (smile)) or stream your favorite artist and get lost in the sound of music. Whatever that may be for you to pull yourself out of that funk go to it, run to it and pull yourself together because the next step may be your hardest…

Take action! You have to do something. Pull yourself out of your comfort zone and accomplish your goals. You’ve achieved the motivation to continue on your journey. The good thing about motivation is that it only takes a spark to get yourself in motion. It is up to you to maintain consistency and continue on your journey. Whenever you find that you are losing the consistency your need to continue on, go back and find your motivation.

This is not a one-stop shop. This is an ongoing process! Motivation can fade and when it does it is up to you to find it and forge ahead. You can do it, I believe in you.

When Life Moves Faster than You

How do you find time for everything you need to take care of in addition to the things you want to get done? How about finding balance when you juggle a career, children, family, bills, and life in general? We’ve all had moments like this image. When life is coming at you from all angles and you’re just trying to keep track of it all. At times when things feel the most busy the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop.

I can remember a time when everything felt overwhelming and the slightest add-on would nearly send me into a tailspin. Now I learned techniques to better manage not only my time, but also my expectations.

Change the Routine. When the daily rat race feels like a marathon. It happens to us all. You get up in the morning, get the children up, get dressed and if you have a commute you sit in traffic with the thousands of other people slowly creeping along the highway barely clearing three miles in ten minutes. You drop everyone off, get to work and hustle through your day while you think about what you’re going to cook for dinner, wonder how much homework you have to help out with and consider possibly working out or doing anything for yourself before you go to bed only to wake up and do it all over again. Maybe the dishes won’t get done that night. Maybe the kids will have to eat leftovers instead of cooking or buying fast food, or if there aren’t any leftovers, maybe everyone will have to put together whatever they find that they’d like to eat and there you go. The point is you can get so caught up in the routine that you stop enjoying the fact that you have another day to do something that will make you smile instead of allowing yourself to get overwhelmed with all that you have to do.
Prioritize. Believe it or not, everything does not have to get done everyday or every week for that matter. Give yourself a moment to take a breath. What is critical for the daily operation of your life? What can you put off for another day to save your sanity? It may seem like it has to all get done but sometimes you have to say, “I’ll do it another day.” I am one of those people who have routines. One of which is washing clothes and I do it every weekend. Some people I’ve heard will wash all week long opting for a load or two every other day (Yikes!). Consider doing it differently. If washing takes a lot of your time, maybe save it for your day off as opposed to washing all week long when you have dinners and homework throughout the week or if you wash on the weekend think about if there’s anything that can wait for the next week as opposed to trying to get it all done at one time. Whatever can be put off for another time, do it. That’ll free some time for you to take a mental health break and give you some free time you didn’t have before.
Treat yourself. Of course, there’s always something you have to pay for…music lessons, sports fees, BILLS…but do you ever pay yourself? Think about it. How often do you say no to a new pair of shoes, an outfit or accessory you saw at the mall because you figure that money can be spent on the kids or a bill that’s due. Earmark some of that hard earned money for something you’ve passed in the mall more than once and stared longingly at wishing you could take it home or the website you keep visiting hoping your favorite item is still there and not sold out. You deserve it at least once in a while. Maybe its a mani/pedi combo or a spa day. Whatever it may be treat yourself because you deserve it.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Keep this in mind for those times when it seems like everything and everyone is getting on your last nerves. Some things are not worth getting upset about. There’s a saying that goes, “if it doesn’t apply, let it fly.” Everybody else’s hang ups don’t have to be yours. Lets say you have a surly co-worker that always has an attitude. Let that person wallow in misery alone. Most likely the reason for their off-putting disposition has nothing to do with you and most likely everything to do with what may be happening in their personal life. Regardless the reason don’t let it ruin your day. Continue to work and interact with your co-workers in the same manner you normally would. It sounds harsh but you have your own life challenges to deal with and matching the energy of the Negative Nancy in the office is draining and a waste of your time so don’t do it.
Pat yourself on the back. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have a lot on your plate and as long as you are getting up charging through the day despite the hustle and bustle around you, pat yourself on the back and keep going. Often we get so caught up in the acknowledgement of others that we forget to tell ourselves job well done. Self-affirmations, motivational quotes or even a smile at the person in the mirror goes a long way. Be happy with yourself. Stop and look at how far you’ve come and be proud of your accomplishments.

Maintaining balance in life is not easy but it can be accomplished and it is necessary. Don’t allow your life to become so overwhelming that you stop enjoying everyday you are given to do it all over again.

Going Back to School

Yes, you read that right. I’m going back…again. So, I have a bachelor’s degree, a master’s degree, and now I am pursuing a second master’s degree in Psychology.

I’ve had people ask me why am I going back especially after already receiving a master’s degree in Business Administration and the only answer that I have so far is because it is something that I’ve always wanted to do. When I first started college, I made the decision to major in Psychology because I knew I wanted to help people I was a good listener, and I can keep a secret. For some reason, people always wanted to talk to me about their lives and I never mind listening. I even think I give pretty good advice every now and then, but once I got to college and decided that would be my major I let the opinions of mostly family members deter me from my dream.

People would say to me, you’ll never make any money doing that or you have to earn a PhD in order to make any real money in that career and so I decided on something that was more “marketable” and ultimately I earned a bachelor’s degree in Communications. Its not to say I regret my degree because I’ve always loved to write, but it was not my first intent when I started college as a freshman fresh out of high school and excited and ready to start my adult life.

Over the years, I’ve worked hard and accomplished a lot but as I get older I often think about whether I am fulfilled in life or whether I am doing what I love to do and the answer is I am not. I think back to when I was seventeen years old entering college and how I listened to what other people said to me (many of who had never been to college themselves) and I know now that I did it all wrong.

First, I was supposed to be proud of myself that not only did I get into a good school but that I accomplished this on my own. Second, I was supposed to take my time and decide what I wanted to do with my life (or if you already know what you want to do, then go for it full steam ahead). Third, I was supposed to pursue whatever got me excited to get up and go to school everyday because there would be a reward at the end which would have been a degree and one step. Fourth, I was supposed to be happy.

I think I accomplished most of those with the exception of being happy. I have allowed myself to be content for the most part, but happy is a different challenge. You only get one life and while we all have responsibilities, you’ve got to find a way to enjoy the life you have even if that means you don’t make all the money in the world or get the best job (although what is considered the better job is subjective).

I would not want to leave this world with regrets for what I should have done or something I should have tried but didn’t because somebody else said, “do it this way.” I am making a commitment to myself that I will do things my way and to be happy while I’m doing it and I wish the same for anyone who wants to do it their way.